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When you commit to something, you have to decide what that commitment means, and how you will react if you waver.

In other words: how much permission will you give yourself to fail, or change the rules?

When I started these emails again I decided it wouldn’t matter if I missed a day – although it would be best not to. Oddly enough I find it easier to write daily than once a week or a month. The habit and the commitment are easier to grasp.

I decided it wouldn’t matter if I wrote the email in the afternoon (or early evening), or the day before if it suited whatever I had on better.

Partly this is a matter of consequnce: it’s really not the end of the world (as I once thought) if it doesn’t get sent out before 9am, or a day gets skipped. The world moves on.

Of course, there’s a good argument that giving yourself these flexible permissions could make it easier for you to miss your goals – but the flexibility relates to the importance.

If you have a big am dram show coming up, then you’ll probably not let yourself get away with not learning lines. But if you are trying to learn how to solve a Rubik’s cube just for the interest, then taking a break won’t do you any harm if it lets you get some other stuff done.

Do you prefer absolute commitment to new habits? Or can you allow yourself to be flexible? Add a comment below.

Best wishes



  • Lisa Fisher says:

    I love your emails they’re so inspiring and I really look forward to reading them xxxx

  • Jan says:

    I’m a bit all or nothing – so if I let myself off a commitment for a day or two …. it soon becomes a week, a month 😩

    • Tom Doggett says:

      That’s the problem – sometimes if you give-up once you give-up forever. Perhaps you need to look at your approach to, or reason for, starting in the first place? If it’s so easy to stop, maybe you didn’t really want to begin…?